Lost
by A Thousand Undiscovered Stars
Summary: Pre-Series. This is a short one-shot from Lorelai's perspective. No specific timeline. Just a look into what Lorelai might have been like as a teenage - a look into what her mindset might have been like before she got pregnant with Rory.


_Disclaimer: Tragically, Gilmore Girls does not belong to me…_

_A/N: This story takes place one night when Lorelai is fifteen years old, before she gets pregnant with Rory, during no particular time period. This is just a simple one-shot to give a look into the pre-Rory Lorelai's mind. Dedicated to Banana Flavored Lemonade. Enjoy! :D_

_**Lost**_

_Lorelai sighed, looking down from the top of the stairs. Emily and Richard were holding another ridiculous, over-the-top party with all of their wealthy, arrogant; boring friends. Right now, Richard was probably talking shop with some other businessmen, and she could see Emily berating one of the servants because "The candles must be exactly 6 inches apart!"_

_Shaking her head, Lorelai turned and made her way into her room and out onto the balcony. It was all so trivial. The adults were all obsessed with money and status and image, and the kids weren't much better. They were arrogant, shallow, privileged, and they had absolutely no regard for anyone else's thoughts or feelings. And she acted no differently than the rest of them. She was wild, uncontrollable, and impulsive, and she acted that way on purpose - because she never wanted this life._

_She turned her head as she heard footsteps behind her… and then she relaxed when she saw that it was just her boyfriend. She and Christopher had known each other since they were kids. They had been so many things to each other. They were friends, confidants, and lovers. He was the only one that she could really talk to, the only one that she could really be herself with._

_"Hey," Christopher interrupted Lorelai's thoughts._

_She smirked and kissed him before stepping back and leaning against the railing. "Hey. So, you decided to escape all the monotony and join me?"_

_Chris laughed. "Well, it was a tough choice but you won out in the end," he teased, before sobering. He could see in her eyes that something was bothering her. "Hey, what are you thinking about?"_

_Lorelai sighed and turned around. "I've just been thinking about how ridiculous it all is. All that they care about is money and status, both my parents and yours. They don't even want to try to know us. They have our futures all planned out for us and they don't care if we don't agree or if we might want a life different from theirs, and it's all just so… pointless," she ranted. Sometimes, like now, it would hit her all over again and she would be overwhelmed by just how much she hated the life that she had been born into. She hated everything and everyone in it – except for her friends, of course, and Christopher. She didn't hate Christopher, but she didn't love him either and she knew it, even if he didn't. The truth was, yes, Chris was there for her and he would listen to her and he was desperately in love with her – but he was also weak and ambitionless and, though he tried, he really had no idea how to comfort her when she most needed it._

_Almost as if to reinforce her thoughts about his lack of instincts, Chris came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. But, instead of telling her that he understood or that everything would be okay and that they wouldn't turn out like their parents, he pressed against her and began kissing down her neck slowly, just as she had known that he would. With Chris, things were simple. When he was upset or in a bad mood, he sought physical comfort from Lorelai and she willingly offered to soothe him and, almost before she realized it, she would find herself pulling her clothes back on and Christopher would tell her that he loved her – she never responded. Contradictorily, what Lorelai needed most was to be verbally comforted. They were two completely different people, but, in a way, they needed each other. Christopher loved Lorelai and needed her to feel complete. Lorelai may not have loved Christopher but that didn't mean that she needed him any less that he needed her. She needed him to listen to her and most of all: she needed him to love her, because her parents never had. And that's why she never refused him when he wanted to have sex._

_Lorelai was brought out of her musings as she felt Chris' hands travel up and down her sides for a moment before coming up to rest on her breasts as he teased them through the thin fabric of the dress she wore, causing her to moan. And as he pulled her ridiculously expensive dress off and threw it on the floor and she turned to pull his pants down while he hurriedly removed his shirt, she knew that it was wrong. She knew that this wasn't what she really needed and that she wouldn't feel any better after they were done. She wanted the words, but she realized that she already knew: she knew that she would find a way out of this place, that she would find something better than this; that she would escape this life of luxury which she never wanted. But still she went along with it as Chris laid her down on the cold stone of the balcony's floor. Because even though she knew that she would find her way out one day, for now she was still the same wild, rebellious, angry; out-of-control girl that she always was. For now, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore was lost._

_**)( )( )( The End. )( )( )(**_

_**A/N: So, what do you think? It's short, I know, but it was really designed just to give a glimpse into what teenage-Lorelai's mindset might have been like. Hope you all liked it! Remember, one-shots deserve reviews, too! :D**_


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